Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
