In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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