I think i peed on brittanys purse
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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