he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
