Walk of Shame. In a state park.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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