I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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