Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
