we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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