i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
