I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My vagina is officially offended.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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