About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
