so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
