I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
