if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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