Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
