Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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