She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
