Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
