someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
