You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
