absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
