Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
