Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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