Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
