I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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