i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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