Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
