This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
