did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
