Someone shit on the floor
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
