maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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