I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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