Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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