Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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