at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
