He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dick very happy bro
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
