So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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