I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
