@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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