upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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