for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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