I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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