I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
