it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
