On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
