IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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