I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I smell like Dick and happiness
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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