It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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