id be glad to
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
