Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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